Anyone who’s
read the comics will know how iconic this character has become; yet the film is
a watered-down, dumbed-down, Americanised version of the British comic. Tank Girl does not get repeatedly wasted,
end up in a home for social misfits or create a child with a TV for a head
after mating with a Kangaroo. Jet Girl
doesn’t save Richard and Judy from being shot down while stoned up to their
eyeballs. Adolf Hitler doesn’t return
from the dead in a pineapple shirt to survive the end of the world in the
Australian outback. And Barney’s
nowhere to be seen! It’s wrong, plain
wrong.
Instead Malcolm
McDowell walks barefoot across broken glass before losing his head, but not
until after he’s shown how not to torture someone with a straightjacket. Then we get Kangaroo jazz poetry and
arguments over whether it’s Count Chocula or Count Duckula but I always
preferred the guy off Sesame Street.
Bad rap follows
and the tanks a crappy Sherman rather than the T-34 or Tiger tank that is
clearly merited. Seriously how hard can
it be to find a T-34? Russia’s full of
them; there’s one in Herefordshire for pity’s sake. If they ever make another Tank Girl film they’ve got to use a
T-34! As for watching it, it does have
Malcolm McDowell in it, so that’s something.
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